Toxic Masculinity: How do we Tackle Misogyny in Domestic Abuse?

Misogynistic attitudes present a key risk to women. This article examines the impact of harmful attitudes towards women, how this can be identified within society and individual relationships, with techniques for addressing this within perpetrator work.

Misogynistic attitudes present a key risk to women in intimate relationships

Brought to prominence this year by the Netflix drama ‘Adolescence,’ extreme misogynistic views are nothing new to domestic abuse organisations, with research evidence consistently supporting the claim that harmful attitudes towards women underpin violence towards women in intimate relationships.

This article provides an overview of the issues related to misogyny within society and relationships, and how this is addressed within perpetrator interventions. For further details of the impact of the manosphere on young men and boys and how, through early intervention, parents, educators and other professionals can address this, please visit our post .

How do we know that misogynistic attitudes towards women fuel violence and abuse?

Through misogynistic language and behaviours, women are marginalised, objectified, and made secondary within society. Beliefs around male ownership over women, for example, lead men to control their partners by restricting their ability to work, socialise, or engage in independent activities. Sexual entitlement and an inherent belief in male superiority are also at the core of aggressive jealousy and possessive behaviours.

These beliefs don’t just fuel individual acts of abuse: they uphold a broader system that tolerates, excuses, and rewards toxic and violent masculinity. People with misogynistic views are more likely to blame the victims of abuse rather than the perpetrators, justify or minimise violence against women, and support ‘traditional’ gender roles that reinforce male dominance.

In 2022 Women's Aid released results of a survey of the UK public's attitudes towards abuse of women. The findings showed that significant proportions of the population hold female victims responsible for their abuse and that the perception of domestic abuse as unacceptable drops when excuses are made for abusive behaviour. Findings also showed that controlling or sexual abusive behaviours were viewed as less harmful. Key findings were that:

• Perceived ‘poor behaviour’ by the victim was most likely to be given as an excuse for the abuse they experience. For example, there was a 17% drop in those who thought it was extremely wrong for the husband to control what his wife wore to the gym if she’s previously been unfaithful.

• An abuser’s perceived well-being or remorse were viewed as an acceptable excuse for abusive behaviour. There was a 15% drop (from 81% to 66%) in those who thought the husband was really wrong to slap his wife when he later apologised.

• 34% believed domestic abuse is the result of just ‘bad people’ and those with a belief that the root cause of domestic abuse is within the individual rather than society, were less likely to see the harm caused by abusive behaviours or understand it as a pattern of behaviour.

• Adults were more likely to report that the man’s behaviour was extremely wrong and caused a great deal of harm in a scenario of physical abuse (71%) compared to a scenario of sexual abuse (60%).

• Those behaviours classed as emotional/psychological abuse, controlling behaviour or stalking were perceived as less harmful than others.

The chief executive of Women’s Aid in presenting the alarming findings said:

“While it is true that only abusers are responsible for their actions, effective responses to domestic abuse need to address the tolerance throughout our society which enables them to act.” The charity’s findings also uncovered that respondents with stereotypical views of gender roles and underlying misogynistic views are more tolerant of the impact of domestic abuse and less aware of its nature.¹ - Farah Nazeer, chief executive of Women’s Aid

How do we recognise misogyny within society and individual relationships?

On a societal level, misogyny often manifests as the devaluation of women’s work and contributions and the exclusion of women from certain spaces and practices. Beliefs around a woman’s ‘place’ in society confines women’s roles to service and family obligations. Within this belief system, women lack the same value as men in professional and public spheres. Misogyny is visible and legitimised in language such as sexist swear words and insults that normalise beliefs of women’s inferiority. In ‘progressive’ spaces, misogyny can also manifest in more covert ways. Women’s issues may be marginalised in favour of ‘broader’ concerns, there may be overinvestment in discussions that essentially increase men’s sexual access to women (‘sex work’, pornography, women’s sexual liberation, etc.), or women’s rights movements may be dismissed as hostile toward men.

Within intimate relationships, the way that a man talks about his partner can indicate underlying misogynistic beliefs. In particular, when a partner says 'she should' or 'she shouldn't' when discussing incidents or behaviour, this is an expression of his beliefs about how women and by extension his partner 'should' behave, for example '

• He expects to be central within the household, his views, opinions, wants and needs must come first,

• High expectations of the women's role within the household (i.e. she should be cleaning, she should not have let the children do this etc..).

• Sexual jealousy (for example checking devices, checking underwear, frequent accusations of infidelity).

• Access to education, employment or social contacts is restricted.

• The use of demeaning language frequently applied to women (slag slut etc..)

How can misogeny be addressed with perpetrators of domestic abuse?

A key part of domestic abuse behaviour change programmes (DAPPs) are techniques that aim to target harmful attitudes towards women this can include:

• Using the Duluth Power and Control wheel to show how attitudes towards women relate to abusive behaviour and the dynamics of power and control.

• Examining the link between underlying beliefs, thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

• Using peers to model behaviour and provide challenge.

• Provide education on the impact of their behaviours, words and attitudes on their intimate partners and children.

• Stopping the use of demeaning language.

In the UK DAPPs primarily use the Duluth model of power and control as the basis for understanding domestic abuse. This video provides an explanation of how this can be used to challenge male privilege within a behaviour change programme.

What should an equal relationship look like?

The equality wheel provides an understanding of what an equal relationship would look like. This is helpful for use with victims and perpetrators of domestic abuse as well as those who are unsure if their relationship is equal. You can download a copy of the wheel here.

This wheel, surrounded by non violence, outlines the key aspects of an equal, fair relationships as follows:

• Non threatening behaviour

• Respect

• Trust and support

• Honesty and responsibility

• Responsible parenting

• Shared responsibility

• Economic partnership

• Negotiation and fairness

If you feel that something is wrong in your relationship and you are not sure if it is abusive then you can visit the Womens Aid handbook for more information. You can also get in touch with a support worker from Womens aid to help you understand what’s happening and how you can gain support through the Women’s Aid Live Chat or by email.

How DVACT-PAI can help

DVACT-PAI experts have a wealth of experience over several decades of working with harmful misogenistic behaviour, including the development of behavioural interventions in the early 90s. DVACT-PAI provide training, consultation and supervision for teams of educators, social workers and other professionals in the field. Contact us for further information.

If you are a social worker and are concerned about domestic abuse within a family, DVACT-PAI can complete assessments and interventions with victims and/or perpetrators regardless of the status of the case. Assessments examine the use of abuse used in the relationship and the impact of this on the children and victim, with a risk management plan for each member of the family. DVACT-PAI also deliver focused and specialised treatment programmes for both victims and perpetrators.

Detailed guidance for social workers on how to complete safety planning with families can be found in our post How to complete safety planning with families.

Helplines and resources

Helplines are available in the UK as follows:

National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247

The Men’s Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors – 0808 801 0327

Respect phoneline for perpetrators of domestic abuse - 0808 8024040

Childline - 0800 1111 you can also go to https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/

NSPCC (Monday to Friday 8am – 10pm or 9am – 6pm at the weekends) - 0808 800 5000 or Contact counsellors 24 hours a day by email or online reporting form help@nspcc.org.uk

Online community support - With Abuse Talk you can join the discussion on domestic abuse through a weekly Twitter Chat every Wednesday 8-9pm GMT www.twitter.com/abusetalkonline there is also a forum https://jennifergilmour.com/community/ which is available 24/7 and a podcast which delivers a series of interviews with those that work in the domestic abuse sector. Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and more.

References

Women's Aid. (2022, October 3). Women’s Aid releases new research on how UK public attitudes ‘tolerate’ domestic abuse. Women’s Aid. https://www.womensaid.org.uk/womens-aid-releases-new-research-on-how-uk-public-attitudes-tolerate-domestic-abuse/

Rottweiler, B., Clemmow, C., & Gill, P. (2024). A Common Psychology of Male Violence? Assessing the Effects of Misogyny on Intentions to Engage in Violent Extremism, Interpersonal Violence and Support for Violence against Women. Terrorism and Political Violence, 37(3), 287–312. https://doi.org/10.1080/09546553.2023.2292723

Domestic Abuse Intervention Programmes: Home of The Duluth Model https://www.theduluthmodel.org/

About us

DVACT-PAI are a team of domestic abuse experts, available throughout the UK, who provide assessments, programmes, consultancy and training to local authorities and the family courts. Our experts have decades of experience working directly with domestic abuse perpetrators and victims, as specialist assessors and as expert witnesses in the family courts.

​DVACT-PAI was formed with the aim of using our expertise to help safeguard children from abuse, this is at the heart of everything that we do. To read more about us please visit our post - Who are DV-ACT?