With the news that the number of domestic abuse victims taking their own lives has now overtaken those being directly killed by their abusers, recent research shows the terrible toll on victims and survivors. This article provides further information and advice for professionals working with families.
Warning: This article contains references to suicide and domestic abuse
Reports by Refuge estimate that three women a week die by suicide following domestic abuse, indicating that death by suicide has now overtaken those being directly killed by their abusers. Rarely reported, this rise in deaths has been brought to public attention by the mother of Chloe Holland who took her own life following sustained and repeated violence and coercive control from her partner.
The National Domestic Homicide Project report released in March 2024 evidenced a 29% rise in the number of suicides by domestic abuse victims compared to previous years. The report included an examination of all deaths identified by police as domestic abuse related with detailed information not available from any other source to help professionals improve their response to domestic abuse, domestic homicide and victim suicide following domestic abuse.
This article pulls together findings from the national domestic homicide project, research studies and agencies to provide useful information and advice to professionals working in mental health or working within families where domestic abuse is present.
What the research tells us
A total of 242 domestic abuse-related deaths were recorded from April 2022 to March 2023 in the National Domestic Homicide Projects report, which included:
93 suspected victim suicides following domestic abuse
80 intimate partner homicides
31 adult family homicides
23 unexpected deaths
11 child deaths
4 ‘other’ deaths (individuals living together who are not family members or intimate partners)
The majority of victims were female aged 25 to 54, the majority of perpetrators were male with victims and perpetrators of ethnic minority heritages slightly over-represented compared with the general population. 4 in 5 of the perpetrators were known to police before the homicide occurred, 3 in 5 for domestic abuse, and over a third were known to other agencies.
The authors of the report called for urgent action:
“Our report lays bare the scale of deaths following domestic abuse, with at least one victim suicide every four days and murder by a partner or family member every three days. This demands urgent collective action and not only from police - these victims and perpetrators are known to many other agencies".
A similar review of 32 domestic homicide suicides by Warwick University and AAFDA published in 2022 indicated that children were also likely to suffer the devastating impact of losing a parent with over 2 thirds of the victims in these cases having dependent children. In half of these cases the children were living with the victim at the time of death and 12 cases included child custody concerns. Perpetrators are often not held accountable in cases where the victim and therefore primary witness to his abusive behaviour, has died.
DVACT-PAI's experience is that this is a growing problem with multiple levels of complexity. It is common for the perpetrator to be caring for the children and is able to raise them within their own [often false] narrative surrounding their mother’s death. There is also a high risk of exposure to further harmful and abusive relationships.
Why is there a high number of domestic abuse suicides?
A number of reasons for suicide attempts among victims of domestic abuse have been identified including:
To avoid being murdered – a ‘pre-emptive’ strike
To offend the torment of constant coercive control, manipulation and gaslighting
Feeling isolated, alone and unable to find help or support
Feelings of shame, often associated with maladaptive coping mechanisms such as substance misuse
Severe depression or poor mental health often as a result of the abuse
No other option seems available to them.
How can the risks be identified by professionals?
Research indicates that the majority of victims were known to services and had made attempts to access support.
Key indicators of vulnerability to suicide present within the histories of female victims include:
Recurring abusive relationships
Experiencing abuse over a prolonged period of time
A victim of high risk violence, sexual violence and coercive controlling behaviour
Feelings of despair and hopelessness concerning the abuse
Self-identity issues (such as childhood trauma and disrupted relationships
Long term mental ill health
Alcohol and substance misuse
Financial and housing instability
Insecure immigration status
Suicidal ideation and self-harm
Key indicators of risk to victims that research has identified within male perpetrators histories include:
High risk violence and coercive controlling behaviour
Use of counter allegations
Substance misuse
Poor mental health
Separation/ending of the relationship
The Risk of Suicide Timeline
In July 2020 we posted about Monkton-Smith’s homicide timeline in which researchers identified an escalating series of indicators which could help professionals to recognise high and imminent risk. More recently, the same research group have created a similar eight-stage timeline that shows the escalation in risk towards suicide:
History of domestic abuse - Perpetrators have a history of control, violence and abuse in previous relationships and many victims have vulnerabilities such as a history of abusive relationships, childhood trauma or bereavement.
Early relationships - The relationship develops rapidly characterised by early co-
habitation, early pregnancy or early declarations of love (commonly known as 'love bombing'.
Relationship - The control and violence appears early in the relationship and tends to be more severe and intense than in cases of domestic homicide. Victims express fear and feelings of entrapment sometimes within the first couple of weeks.
Disclosure – This occurs when the sequence has already become and does not represent the start of the risk progression. It is important to recognise that the disclosure of abuse by the victim can represent a potential escalation in risk.
Help seeking - Help seeking often occurs when the victim feels that things have become more serious, often after an escalation in abuse, or fears for the safety of children. Most commonly, victims will approach health professionals for mental health support. Often, anxiety and depression is identified and treated without links being made to domestic abuse,
Suicidal ideation - Suicide ideation can be identified in victims (also self-harm or suicidal ideation in perpetrators may be a high risk marker). Perpetrators may also actively encourage victims to harm themselves or enter a ‘suicide pact’. There is a danger of professionals recognising the mental instability without also identifying the underlying domestic abuse.
Complete entrapment – The victim feels trapped in their situation and are unable to see a way out. The coercive control intensifies to such an extent the victim does not feel they have any agency over their life or decisions. Particular factors are the persistence and obsessive nature of the perpetrator’s behaviour which overwhelm the victim.
Suicide - This is a complex stage and does not necessarily happen while the direct abuse is ongoing. Research by the Kent suicide prevention team found that many victims end their lives months or years after the abuse has stopped. This may be due to the trauma caused by experiencing domestic abuse which can be long-lasting. Often, a perpetrator is the last person to see the victim alive or finds the victim’s body. By far the most common method is by ligature.
How can the risk of suicide by victims of domestic abuse be managed?
Professional curiosity has been highlighted as a key way to impact the risk of suicide. This is both within mental health and domestic abuse services. Mental health services need to recognise signs of domestic abuse and domestic abuse services must understanding the risk of suicide. Knowing the most common indicators is one step towards this. Asking the right questions is another vital way in which we can identify those at greatest risk.
Ask about suicide at first contact with victims - is she feeling suicidal now? Has she ever made a previous suicide attempt? This helps to normalise discussions around mental health and gives permission for the victim to speak about something they may have been too fearful to raise.
If the person discloses suicidal ideation – check out how far they may have gone in their planning. Detailed plans tend to be more worrying than more vague ideas. Then focus on feelings rather than facts with open questions and an empathic response.
Safety Plan - As well as planning to keep victims safe from abuse Domestic Abuse Safety Plans should contain a section on keeping the person safe from suicide
Trauma support - It is never enough to simply ‘escape’ the perpetrator. Survivors must be supported to recover from the long-term impact of trauma after the direct abuse has stopped
Culturally competent - Ensure that a culturally sensitive approach is provided to survivors from marginalised ethnic communities – consider the use of interpreters and avoid placing a female victim with a male interpreter
Self care - Encourage good mental health care with survivors to promote resilience and support their ongoing recovery. Be alert to disengaging from mental health support or medication.
Personal agency - Support survivors to increase their choices in their day to day lives. Remember that their personal agency is likely to have been restricted and eroded during their abusive relationship. Child protection and mental health services can unintentionally exacerbate this by making choices on their behalf or even inadvertently mirroring perpetrator behaviour by dressing up a command as a choice. If there is no genuine choice to be made, be totally honest about this.
Further Information and Support from DVACT-PAI
Key indicators of domestic abuse can be found in our blogs. Detailed guidance for social workers on how to complete safety planning with families can be found in our post How to complete safety planning with families. Specialist insight into safety planning for coercive control is contained in our post Coercive control: management and safety planning guidance.
DVACT-PAI specialises in complex cases with family safety assessments designed to offer a level of clarity and insight into the dynamics of abuse and ongoing risks within the family, including an expert opinion on specific issues of concern.
The Vulnerable Mothers Programme is a groundbreaking new programme designed to work with mothers in the UK where the family court or local authority has concerns regarding ongoing vulnerability to domestic abuse. The programme includes learning about domestic abuse but also a deeper reflection on the more subtle and frequently overlooked stressors that can accumulate over time, gradually eroding a person’s sense of safety and well-being. Women are encouraged to develop their own voice, agency and confidence to break the cycle of abuse and prioritise their own and their children’s safety.
Resources
Further research and information used in this post can be found here -
Birmingham University - Research identifies suicide risk factors for domestic abuse survivors
National Police Chiefs Council - Scale of homicide and suicides by domestic abuse victims revealed
Kent and Medway Suicide Prevention Team - Highlighting the link between domestic abuse and suicide
Monckton-Smith, Jane , Siddiqui, Hannana, Haile, Sue and Sandham, Alexandra (2022) - Building a temporal sequence for developing prevention strategies, risk assessment, and perpetrator interventions in domestic abuse related suicide, honour killing, and intimate partner homicide.
Helplines and Support
In an emergency always dial 999
If you dial 999 and are unable to speak press 55 and follow the instructions from the operator, find out more here -https://www.policeconduct.gov.uk/sites/default/files/Documents/research-learning/Silent_solution_guide.pdf
Helplines are available in the UK as follows:
The Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/ Whatever you're going through, you can call free any time, from any phone, on 116 123
National Domestic Violence Helpline – 0808 2000 247
The Men’s Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors – 0808 801 0327
National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428
Action on Elder Abuse helpline: 0808 808 8141
Childline - 0800 1111 you can also go to https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/
NSPCC (Monday to Friday 8am – 10pm or 9am – 6pm at the weekends) - 0808 800 5000 or Contact counsellors 24 hours a day by email or online reporting form help@nspcc.org.uk
Kaleidoscopic UK provides independent, confidential and free on-going survivor led support groups. Available to anyone who has experienced any form of domestic abuse. Visit their website at https://www.kaleidoscopic.uk/
The Milk Exchange is a membership network of accessible, affordable, online support groups for domestic abuse survivors going through their family court proceedings, and beyond. Visit https://themilkexchange.uk/
Jennifer Gilmour & Abuse Talk - A digital community to support discussions around domestic abuse online. Starting with her Twitter Chat #AbuseTalk, this developed into an online forum. #AbuseTalk took a pause for a couple of years but is relaunching in 2024 with a digital holistic hub, a place to find local wellbeing services, self-defence classes, coaches, community groups and more. Jennifer says: "Together we are Louder". Find out more at https://jennifergilmour.com/
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